Enneagram Type Four

The Individualist

The expressive, creative type.

Overview of The Enneagram 4s

Also known as: The Romantic, The Artist
Core Fear: To have no identity or personal significance
Core Desire: To be unique and valued
Core Weakness: Envy – feeling deficient and flawed in relation to other people
Core Strength: Equanimity – welcoming feelings yet staying balanced, being satisfied with what you have
Core Longing (the message your heart longs to hear): “You are seen and loved for exactly who you are”
Disintegration under stress: Towards 2
Integration under growth: Towards 1

Common Characteristics of Enneagram 4s

Fours are creative and expressive. They admire beauty and tend to surround themselves with things they view as aesthetically pleasing. Fours appreciate creation over consumption, and many fours (although by no means all) are gifted artists. They enjoy being able to communicate and express themselves in ways that others can connect to, and are often gifted at being able to portray universal truths through artistic endeavours.

Sensitive and intuitive, fours have easy access to their emotions and feel things deeply. They are warm and perceptive and are able to pick up on others’ feelings as easily as their own. This means they are often empathetic, gentle friends, gifted at drawing out emotional honesty. The four’s own feelings can be so powerful that they struggle to distinguish themselves from their emotions, and often need time alone to cope with this intensity.

Fours tend to delight in being eccentric and ‘different’. They may invest time cultivating habits and behaviours which set them apart from other people, or experimenting with different identities until they find something that they believe is truly “them”. They believe that they are unique and need to find and express their unique identity.

This quest for identity is important to fours, who are passionate about authenticity. They hate the thought that they might be portraying a front to the world and are constantly assessing whether they are being real. They will always follow their inner values and what they hold to be true, even if this causes them difficulties, as that is far preferable to being false or inauthentic.

Fours want to be unique so fiercely that they resist ordinariness and often struggle to see things that they have in common with others. They can appear condescending as they tend to believe that their choices place them above the mainstream common man. They sometimes purposefully distance themselves from those they believe are beneath them.

At the same time, fours often struggle with the distance that they feel is between them and others. They tend to believe that no one can ever truly love or understand them. They are often filled with a longing to be like others, who they see as navigating life with ease and freedom. The four believes that they are somehow innately flawed or defective because of their difference. They often feel like they are outside looking in, somehow missing a vital ingredient to their inner wholeness. Fours often believe that they will be able to feel complete if they find something unique, special and fulfilling.

Fours tend to enjoy being by themselves, spending a lot of time in their own heads and fantasies. They often spend a lot of time reflecting on the past, and can have trouble being present to good things as they lose themselves in nostalgia. Many fours also struggle with resentment, grudges or shame as they spend too long replaying uncomfortable memories in their head. Interestingly, other fours may not focus on the past but instead spend a lot of time imagining a perfect (but unrealistic) future instead.

Fours are happier than most people at sitting with negative emotions. Longing and melancholy is such a part of their identity that this appears natural to them. They also value authenticity so much that they are not afraid to bring the mood down if it means they are being ‘real’. Although this can seem pessimistic or depressing, the four’s ability to sit with suffering is also a gift. People appreciate the grounded vulnerability and sympathy that fours can offer in times of crisis.

Although at their worst, fours can be disdainful, moody and self-absorbed, at their best they are creative, offbeat and empathetic, appreciating beauty and being able to express deep universal truths.

Strengths of Enneagram 4s

One of the main strengths of the Enneagram 4 is their creativity. They are often imaginative and expressive. They appreciate beauty in all forms and are able to draw it out of people and situations. Fours enjoy creating in many different forms. They are gifted at transforming experiences into works of art that express deep universal truths and help others to feel seen and understood.

Fours’ desire to be unique means that they are often quirky, offbeat and endearing. Their originality brings joy to others and can show others a different way of living or being. Other people can be freer to live outside the mainstream when they see the four doing this so confidently.

Fours are compassionate and empathetic. Their emotional sensitivity means that it is easy for them to understand how others are feeling, and react accordingly. They also desire strong emotional bonds with others, meaning that they enjoy spending time listening to and sympathising with people.

The emotional depth of the four is another of their strengths. They feel deeply and passionately, and bring this passion with them into their relationships and their work. Unafraid of strong emotions, they do not repress their feelings and encourage others to share their emotions also.

Fours are idealists. They can always imagine a better – or even perfect – future where everything feels complete. This means that they are unwilling to accept a reality that they feel is unsatisfactory, and will always push for more ideal circumstances. When healthy, they will work hard to achieve this reality.

Another strength of the four is their desire for authenticity. They appreciate what is real, even if it is imperfect or negative. They will not sugar-coat the truth to make it easier to digest, and they will not present a front that is not truly them. They are genuine and vulnerable, and encourage others to be as honest as they are.

Finally, fours can be incredibly courageous. They are unafraid of suffering and will face difficulties in their lives or in the world head on, without backing down. To the four, suffering is such a part of humanity that it would be inauthentic not to experience it. This encourages those around them to be brave and work through suffering also.

Challenges of Enneagram 4s

As with all Enneagram types, the challenges faced by the four are often integrally linked to their strengths; the two are opposite sides of the same coin.

Enneagram fours are often viewed as overly negative. They have a sense of dissatisfaction with the status quo and struggle to see the positives of their circumstances. In fact, many fours find such comfort in their suffering that they hold on to it fiercely. They can often see themselves as a victim and have a tendency to push away those who are trying to help .

Similarly, fours tend to harbour grudges deeply. They often focus their attention on the past, thinking about the ways that they have been hurt by others. Again, this helps them to cement their identity as a long-suffering victim.

Fours often come across as self-absorbed. They tend to focus on themselves and often indulge in self-pity. Due to the belief that they are flawed in comparison to others, this seems entirely justified to them. It also means that fours can expect others to focus on them too, and often (intentionally or unintentionally) make others feel guilty for ‘failing’ them.

Fours often struggle with the intensity of their feelings. Their emotions are so intense that they are easily overwhelmed by them. Their feelings are so powerful that they can find it difficult to separate these from their identity. They also tend to rely on their feelings for decision making, and struggle to look at situations objectively.

The four’s emotional intensity can be difficult for others also. They often seem moody and melancholy, focusing on negative emotions only. Their reactions to situations may also seem disproportionate or melodramatic to other people who do not feel as deeply as the four.

Fours can be incredibly sensitive, taking things very personally – particularly criticism. This negative internalisation, often referred to as “introjection” can cause them a lot of pain as it feeds into their belief that they are flawed or deficient.

Finally, fours sometimes struggle to take responsibility for their own lives. They constantly envy what others have, but often do little to change their current circumstances. Instead, many fours daydream about a saviour who will swoop in and somehow make them feel complete. They may even place these expectations on people that they want to take this role in their life, creating a lot of pressure on those close to fours.

Levels of Development for Enneagram Type 4s

Healthy Levels

At healthy levels, Enneagram Type 4s:

Are self-aware and honest with themselves, owning their feelings and their actions
Are creative and inspirational, transforming their experiences and ideas into something valuable that directs people towards the greater good
Accept themselves, their strengths and their weaknesses, understanding that they are no more or less flawed than anyone else
Are compassionate and sensitive, gentle and intuitive
Are socially aware and responsible, wanting to help others
Are emotionally resilient and balanced, able to cope with their emotions
Appreciate everyone’s individuality and uniqueness, letting go of their own forced uniqueness
Maintain their idealistic worldview yet manage to be realistic in their expectations

Average Levels

At average levels, Enneagram Type 4s:

Crave depth of relationship and meaningful connection with others
Try hard to be unique and present an original image, sometimes exaggerating this
Have a romantic view of life, fantasising a lot
Compare themselves to others with envy and longing
Can be hypersensitive, internalising everything and taking things personally
Can be moody, melancholy, and emotionally intense
Can be self-pitying and self-indulgent, believing that they have suffered more than others
Believe they are fundamentally flawed and deficient

Unhealthy Levels

At unhealthy levels, Enneagram Type 4s:

Feel misunderstood and alone, and worry that they are fundamentally ‘broken’
Focus their energies on finding whatever it is that will make them feel complete
Base their identity on their feelings and emotions
Become fatigued, depressed, and emotionally paralysed
Become angry at themselves, full of self-hatred, shame and reproach
Can blame others for their problems, isolating themselves and driving others away
Can be overly clingy, playing the victim, and becoming manipulative to secure the affections of others
Start to despair, becoming self-destructive and in extreme cases losing their grip on reality

Personal Growth Recommendations for Enneagram Type 4s

The following recommendations aim to help fours themselves achieve healthy levels of development, as well as to give suggestions to others as to how to help the fours in their lives.

Learn to regulate your emotions. Try to feel them without getting swept away in them, and remember that your feelings are not the only reality.
Practise healthy self-discipline. Avoid over-indulgence and avoid putting things off until you ‘feel like it’. Learn to commit to regular action.
Learn to accept yourself as you are, without striving to be unique. Your worth is innate to who you are, and every person has value simply for who they are.
Learn to appreciate the present. Remember that what you have now is sufficient for you. Try to shift your focus away from the negatives to the positives.
Realise that nothing is perfect, but that you can balance sadness with happiness and find satisfaction in the imperfections.
Try not to diminish the ordinary. Instead, look for the beauty in it, and learn to appreciate it.
Remember that helping others, and promoting their happiness can help you overcome envy and longing. Try to recognise when your motivations are self-centred and redirect your focus.
Try to avoid spending too much time having lengthy imaginary conversations in your head. Get out into the world and focus on living your life instead.
Remember that disappointments and failures are a normal part of life. They do not indicate that something is inherently deficient or wrong with you.
Remember that you will never find what you feel is ‘missing’ from outside of you. Self-fulfilment can only come from the inside out.